The Strange Imagination of Hermione Granger
by Elagabalus
Summary: (Slash, SBHP, One-Shot, Slightly AU) Wait, was it Snuffles or Sirius? Really, the power of suggestion is an awe-inspiring thing.


**The Strange Imagination of Hermione Granger**

By King

**A/N**: This is pretty old, so the style is a bit dubious. I was really just playing around and having fun with this anyways. xD So, this is set in the fifth book when September first has come, and the Order is escorting everyone to King's Cross. A lot of the details have been changed (i.e. Ginny wasn't with Harry and Hermione, and Tonks had been waiting for them.), but I have creative license, dammit! Or something like that.

**Warning**: Descriptive slash. (MxM) Siruis/Harry. Lime. If any of these bother you, DO NOT READ.

**Disclaimer** - This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

_Italized - Hermione's imaginings._

Regular - Normal prose.

* * *

In the weak September sunlight, Hermione Granger shifted around tensely, eyes darting every now and then to a dark-haired boy and a large, bear-like dog gamboling around in broad daylight. Beside her, Ginny glanced at the slightly taller girl and rolled her eyes. 

"Stop twitching like that. Sirius's been stuck in that awful place for ages. They're just having fun."

Hermione scowled and snapped back, "He'll be caught for sure. He should have listened to Professor Dumbledore!"

"My thoughts exactly." Mrs. Weasley remarked frostily. "And where in the world has Tonks gotten to? I'll never hear the end of it from Alastor if we're late because of her!"

Ginny watched as Sirius finally managed to bowl Harry over and began to bark loudly in triumph. "I dunno. She said something about finding the right shade of purple for her hair…" she muttered, a calculating look on her freckled face.

Flushed with annoyance, Mrs. Weasley shouted angrily, "Oh, for heaven's sake! Si- Snuffles, keep your voice down!"

The black dog looked up, a slightly, _slightly_ mind you, rueful look in its eyes. Harry chose that moment to take advantage of his godfather's distraction by shoving Sirius off and to switch positions. He then promptly began to tickle the Animagus mercilessly.

Ginny frowned, her eyebrows knitted. "Hermione…"

"What?" answered the bushy haired bookworm, looking slightly harassed.

Sirius had somehow succeeded in stopping his odd dog laughs and throwing off the skinny fifteen-year old. The mammoth dog was now furiously licking Harry's face as the boy laughed helplessly and struggled to push him away.

"Well, I know Sirius is an Animagus, and he really is a dog right now, and it's not just a disguise or something but…" the redhead said vaguely.

Hermione shot the girl a peeved look and demanded, "Ginny, _what_ are you going on about?"

Ginny glanced surreptitiously over to her mother whom at that moment was staring at her watch anxiously. "Well, it's still _Sirius_ over there. I mean, that dog body is just a physical holder for his mind; he might as well be a human right now."

Hermione blinked and swiveled her head to watch as the black canine gave Harry's ear a thorough licking.

_His soft tongue caressed the ear as the raven-haired boy gasped. The older man grinned and tightened his grip on those slender wrists. Kneading the velvety cartilage, his tongue flicked over the smooth skin eliciting pleasured groans from the boy._

Hermione coughed nervously and reddened. "Ah- d-don't be ridiculous, Ginny! I mean, really, implying that S- Sirius and Harry w- would…"

Ginny looked at her, a mischievous look in her eyes, and inquired, "Imply what, Hermione?"

Sirius, the dog, was currently lapping at Harry's throat, covering him in slobber.

"Ahaha, Snuffles! St- haha- stop it already!" the boy laughed.

_He began to move away from the tender ear, licking, sucking, and biting his way over the delicate jawbone. The man paused at the vulnerable throat, trailing kisses over the jugular, like endearments to the life under his fervent lips. His ardent suckling began to brand an impression into the nape of the slim neck, claiming it as his own._

_"Hhnng…S- Sirius, st- aah!"_

"Well? Hermione? Hermione!"

The girl's face grew an odd, ruddy purple as she spluttered, "I- I- I , th- that is.. uh, um…"

Thoroughly worried now, Ginny stared at Hermione uneasily. "Um, maybe you should sit down or something…"

"Uh-uhm… I mean-"

Becoming a bit peeved, Harry began to attempt a squirm out of Snuffle's clutches. The great dog growled playfully and grabbed his shirt between his great jaws.

"Leggo you great brute!" laughed Harry.

Buttons sprung like missiles as they were forcefully popped from the poor shirt that had got caught in the ferocious game of tug-a-war.

_Panting slightly, he tried half-heartedly to push the heavier man off, but was soon quieted as the buttons of his shirt were torn off in a sudden wild craze to reach the silky skin underneath. His immense hands, nimble and eager, flowed over the others chest, pausing to rub a nipple into a color reminiscent of strawberries dipped in thick, heavy cream._

"Wotcher, Hermione! That's a lovely shade of violet you have going on," said Tonks, appearing quite suddenly by her side.

Hermione jumped, staring at the purple-haired and wrinkly old woman wildly. Sirius barked. Her nerves, already pushed to a vulnerable extreme, snapped.

"OH MY FRIGGIN GAWD!"

Dashing to the side, she seized a rock, swung with all her might, and chucked it straight at the tumbling duo of Harry and Sirius. Luckily, her aim was off and landed a few inches away from Harry's flung back head. Still, it was quite sufficient for everyone's attentions to be held as they gawked at the bookworm-like girl.

Striding away as swiftly as her legs would manage with a large trunk to drag behind her, Hermione shouted over her shoulder, "KING'S CROSS. NOW!"

"What the hell! Hermione, have you gone mad!" Harry yelled back.

"GO! NOW!"

Nothing else was heard again from Hermione Granger's mouth that day, despite all the efforts and demands on the other's parts. Her sanity was often been questioned, but no one really ever managed to discover the truth. Except perhaps Ginny Weasley, who was reportedly seen laughing hysterically at her older friend in the privacy behind locked doors. There have also been rumors of the youngest Weasley exchanging a copious amount of galleons with a scruffy, black dog while out of sight of her family and other close acquaintances.


End file.
